Sometimes I wish

That I didn't even exist.

That I never got pregnant again.

That I could move on.

That I didn't have to be here with you...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I Suck at Life!

I so wasn't cut out for this stuff!

I can't handle the things that are constantly being thrown at me.

My boyfriend has been unemployed for 2 1/2 years. I had a baby as a result of failed birth control and hated my pregnancy because the timing couldn't be worse! Now she has issues and cries all the time and no one can figure out what the heck is going on. I'm trying to support a family of 5 on 1 income. And its not working. I can't buy presents for my kids for Christmas and I can't pay my damn mortgage!

My house is going to be foreclosed!

Yes you read that right. Foreclosed!

I have failed as a mother. I cannot provide for my children! And I hate every bit of it! Its depressing me even worse than what I was before and I feel bad for my children for having to be put through this situation. So not fair to them at all.

I put on a pretty face! No one knows what's really going on.

I need a miracle! STAT!!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Why This

I made this blog as a secret identity so I am able to get things off my chest and away from certain people.

I have 2 people that read my blog who I don't want and despite my attempts to block them, its not working.

See the thing is, I am severely depressed, I suffer from PTSD and my life in general is going downhill. I have serious problems and I don't know how to get away from them or make it better!

This is my therapy! I am supposed to be talking to a psych but I don't want to! Stubborn yes!

Anyways, here goes...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T